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Open Question: How to feel if you're in your 20's/struggling and your folks make you feel bad about yourself like mine?
I got angry at my mother recently.
She brought up one of my older sisters (I'm the only boy) who works two part-time jobs and a cousin of mine who just works one job.
I told her, "Why should I feel sorry for them? I am the one unemployed."
She had no answer to my question.
I've been struggling for nearly 5 months now to find a job.
I have no help at all from anybody to find a job-telling me if any jobs they know that are open, helping me get an interview.
My folks can't grasp how depressed I am being unemployed.
They think it's easy for me to just apply to a job and then I'll just automatically be granted an interview.
To me, it doesn't make sense for me to feel sorry towards one of my sisters who works two jobs while one of my cousins are my mom's side doesn't make much.
That sister of mine and my cousin live on their own.
My sister has a roommate while my cousin lives with a girlfriend.
I'm back living in my folks house. I'm in my 20's and single.
My mom even tries to make me feel sorry for people she gives money to in the Philippines.
I'm like, "They only write and call you so you feel sorry for them and give them money.
They don't care how you are."
I'm not heartless. I would rather feel sorry for my my aunt on my mother's side who is in her early 60's, has kept getting laid off from jobs and has a mortgage and health insurance to pay than feel sorry for my for my sister and my cousin.
My mom has told me things such as, "Your problem is your problem; not mine" and "whatever" to me."
My mom has even told me before, "You are good for nothing."
Since I'm living in their house again, I help out by doing chores like washing their cars and ironing their work clothes yet my mom tells me, "You don't do anything in the house."
I should be grateful I have a place to stay but she always has a comment and always criticizes me.
Regarding my sister who I brought up, she used to make fun of me just getting allowance from my folks and she used to steal money from me/ask me for money before I even had my first job.
I asked this sister of mine, "Do you know of any jobs?" and she told me, "Just look on the internet."
She didn't even bother to say, "I am sorry that you're unemployed."
As my cousin goes, my mom once told me, "I'd rather have him for a son than you."
She meant it and never apologized.
Unlike my cousin, I've never had a drug problem and I've never been to jail like he has.
I'm miserable being unemployed and not having a job.
I don't even feel like going out much not even to the gym that I have membership to.
My mother has even brought up my eldest sister recently too by telling me that she has high blood pressure.
My eldest sister of mine is a snob who looks down at me along with her husband (I was not invited to her wedding).
I've never had my family defend me to others.
I don't mind caring about others problems as long as that person cares about mine.
To me, caring is a two way street.
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