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Open Question: I need some serious help or advice....please anyone???? I can't take this anymore!?
I have EXTREME health anxiety after suffering my first panic attack in December. I had several more before I was able to recognize a panic attack. In the meantime, I now suffer extreme health anxiety and hypochondria as a result of the panics attack starting in my life. I could never wrap my mind around it....and now I notice every twitch in my body resulting in me running off to the emergency room. I am ashamed of this so I have bounced er's so no one would recognize me....and I am afraid to find a family doctor as he will notice and not take my symptoms seriously. The panic attacks caused me to be overly aware of my body and the power of them...not to mention it was like facing death without dying. I had my first few in front of my three small children, and it gave me a glimpse of dying, and the thoughts of no control. I have no health insurance so I am not able to see a mental health specialist to help me...and the only free service I have found was a 6 month waiting list. My old family doctor believes this is alot of post partum for me, which I find true. I am more depressed than every because of all of the selfishness I have, and for the neglect I have put on my family and husband. I went from Prozac that made me sick...Paxil that zoned me out, and now Celexa....which now I feel doesn't work either because I still have severe anxiety. My latest visit was today for stomach pains, and when the doctor told me my stomach was fine....I got home feeling great. Something took over, and now tonight I fear having a heart attack....even though I just had an EKG 4 hours ago!!! I cannot take this anymore........what do I do!!!??????????
I fear all sorts of things...and mostly the ones that will take my life instantly. I fear panic attacks and have panic attacks thinking about it! My Celexa I can tell actually stops my body from having an attack...because it stops at my heavy breathing and I start to come back down to reality. Do I change medications again? I have no health insurance and no money for a doctor visit. No free clinics and we are over the income limit for state funded programs. I feel like my only help is the er. They seem to give me a sense of peace of mind to get me through another week. :(
I am 30 years old....trying to lose 7 years of baby weight, and I smoke. I want to quit but my anxiety keeps me smoking more. :(
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